April Fool's
by DelaVega209
Summary: Tony is bored, Ziva is mad, and McGee is in rare form. A humorous story about April Fool's Day. No swearing, pairings, or ships.
1. Chapter 1

_Tony's bored, Ziva's, mad, and Tim is in rare form. Just a fun little story about April Fool's Day. Gibbs will appear in later chapters, as will Abby and Ducky. No swearing, pairings, or ships. Please read and review, and enjoy!_

The boredom was unbearable. Anthony DiNozzo had never been good at sitting still, or sitting in general. Just because he had a computer in front of him with dozens of pages of evidence reports to go over didn't make it any easier for his attention span to hang in there. Roughly a quarter of the way through half-heartedly skimming the reports, Tony dropped his head on his desk, letting it bounce with a loud, "Thud, thud, thud."

Timothy McGee, who had been feverishly typing, afforded his colleague only a sidelong glance. To ask a question of any type would, no doubt, invite a lengthy, detailed, and rambling complaint. There was a time a few years ago when his desperate attempts to be one of the team would have won out, and he would have asked the question. He was much wiser now to the ways of DiNozzo, so he simply shook his head and went back to typing.

"Aaahhhhh!" Tony groaned, rolling his head from side to side on his desk.

Tim visibly struggled with his decision before finally taking the bait. "Alright, Tony. What?"

Tony didn't bother lifting his head from the desktop. "I can't take it anymore! It's been four days! Four days since we've worked a case!"

"Yeeess," Tim said slowly, "But it's given us a chance to catch up on some stuff. I kind of like the down time every now and then. It's relaxing."

DiNozzo raised his head to eye the younger agent carefully. "Yeah, okay, McBuddha. What do you think Ziva and the bossman are doing? They haven't been here all morning."

"Gibbs has been in MTAC with the director and SecNac for a couple of hours now. And I heard Ziva say she was going to help Abby with inventory."

"Great. Ziva gets to do inventory and I get . . . eye strain."

"But you hate inventory, Tony" McGee pointed out.

Tony's reply was loud and sharp. "Yeah, well, I hate this more!" After a short pause, Tony continued. "We have to get a case, probie. We could make one up." In his best voice-over impression, he said, "The case of the bored DiNozzo." Then, as if a light bulb had been switched on, Tim saw a very familiar expression come across Tony's face.

"Tony," McGee said in his best threatening voice, "What are you doing?"

The senior field agent was enthusiastically rummaging in the bottom drawer of his desk, emerging with an almost full tube of toothpaste, and a triumphant smile on his face. "We used to do this all the time to each other in Baltimore. Classic," he explained as he globbed as much toothpaste as would stick to the earpiece of Ziva's desk phone.

"Like she won't notice that," Tim said with skepticism.

"That's why we have a diversion, McStick-in-the-mud. Something simple." Tony looked around quickly, his eyes falling on a half dozen boxes of printer paper in front of the file cabinet. Wasting no time, he stacked 4 boxes atop the desk, leaving the last two to occupy the chair.

"She's gonna kill you," McGee prophesied.

"This is gonna be so great!" Tony could barely contain his excitement.

For the next hour Tony fidgeted with anticipation. When the Mossad officer finally emerged from the elevator, Tim thought he heard Tony giggle like a little girl.

Seeing the boxes, Ziva immediately turned to DiNozzo. "Who put these here?" she asked, obviously annoyed.

Tony put on his best poker face. "Uh, I don't know, Zeeeeva. They've been there for awhile now."

"They were not there when I came in this morning. Surely you two saw who did this!"

"Nope, sorry," Tony finished, reaching into his pocket for his cell phone. Feeling for the speed dial button to Zivas desk, he held the button for a full count of three. He just couldn't help the gleeful smile from breaking across his face when the phone on her desk started ringing. Grabbing for it quickly, she stuck the receiver to her ear, instantly filling it with mint flavored paste. Her customary phone greeting was cut short as she realized what had happened. Clearly seeing the storm clouds building, McGee dropped his head, intensely studying the screen of his computer.

Tony, in stark contrast, let loose a deafening laugh, holding his stomach while he barely held himself in his chair through the fit of laughter. Ziva turned toward the senior field agent, murder glinting in her dark eyes.

"April Fools!" Tony called out between gut busting howls.

Ziva stood motionless for a moment, clearly debating on which would be an appropriate way to kill the annoying Italian man. Then, without saying a word, she turned and left, making a b-line for the woman's bathroom.

"Didn't I tell you it was gonna be great, Probie? Wasn't it great? Oh, that was great!" Tony managed to say once his laughter had sufficiently subsided.

"You know she won't just let this go," McGee pointed out.

Tony seemed to ponder that for a moment, chewing on the inside corner of his lip. "No, I suppose not." As he began to think harder, he couldn't help but solicit his teammate's opinion. "What do you think she'll do?"

McGee was rather enjoying watching the senior field agent squirm, and couldn't hold back an amused smile. "Gee, I don't know, Tony. She might give you coffee that turns your teeth blue again."

Tony pulled his lips tight against his teeth, remembering. "Oh yeah. Took me three days to get that stuff off."

"Or she could . . ." Tim stopped abruptly, a plan slowly beginning to form in his mind.

"Could what, Probie?"

"Nothing."

Tony eyed the younger man suspiciously. He was about to say something when McGee inexplicably up and left the bullpen. Tony shrugged and mentally filed away the witty retort he had prepared, to be used for another time.

Special Agent Timothy McGee wasn't particular known for his cunning. Everyone saw the youngest member of Team Gibbs as mostly a nerd- an assumption that was only reinforced when his co-workers discovered his pen name, Thom E. Gemcity, and the series of crime novels he had successfully authored. But sometimes, just every once in awhile, Tim's more devious side sprang to the forefront without warning, and he just couldn't help himself. The mischievous smile that twitched at the corners of his lips as he waited outside the woman's restroom was something not many people had seen.

When Ziva had finally cleared the worst of the cursed toothpaste from her ear canal, she was more than a little surprised to see McGee waiting for her just outside he door.

"Ziva," Tim began almost nervously. "I just want you to know that it wasn't my idea."

Ziva eyed him intensely. "I know, McGee."

"But if you want, I could help you get back at Tony."

"I am listening."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- Pay Back

Tony was on edge. Ever since the toothpaste incident earlier that morning, Ziva had put on a wicked, mysterious smile every time their eyes met. Her demeanor was calm, but her dark eyes danced in a very disturbing way. Something bad was definitely in the works for one Anthony DiNozzo.

As a result, Tony found himself in a very peculiar situation. It was now almost one o'clock in the afternoon. Loud grumbling sounds could be heard from the senior field agent's stomach as it protested its lack of contents. Still, he desperately tried to ignore the uncomfortable sensation. He couldn't just leave, giving Ziva the opportunity to pull off whatever terrible, and no doubt embarrassing, repercussions she saw fit.

Tony watched as Tim, Ziva, and Abby left for the little café down the street that he loved so much. Then he watched as they all came striding back, satisfied and full. He watched again as Gibbs announced he was going to lunch with Ducky, then return awhile later with a fresh cup of coffee in hand. Tony was in agony. He tried to stay focused on the numerous tasks at hand, but his mind always seemed to be drifting off to a piping hot pizza.

"DiNozzo," he heard his boss call his name.

Tony poked his head up. "Yeah, boss?"

"Will ya go eat something already? I can hear your stomach all the way over here."

"Oh. Sorry, boss. But I can't." When Gibbs gave him a raised brow glare, he quickly added, "Just yet."

"Last chance, DiNozzo. Go now or take your chances."

Tony visibly struggled with the decision. Full belly, or unknown humiliation?

"Go!" Gibbs called out to him. Without another word, Tony plucked his backpack from beside his desk and slung it over his shoulder. Just for good measure, he put two fingers up to his eyes, then pointed them at Ziva, giving her the "I'm watching you" sign. As she had been doing all morning, she just smiled that irritating smile, this time giving a small, evil chuckle. Tony gulped.

The senior field agent returned just over fifteen minutes later, having cut in line at Wendy's, and broken every traffic law ever written in his attempt at haste. The bullpen was almost just as he left it. Ziva was still at her desk, rolling her head from side to side. She, too, much preferred action to desk work. McGee seemed comfortable in his computer chair. The only change in his appearance was the fact that he had shed the sport coat he was wearing.

Tony breathed a sigh of relief to see Gibbs still at his own desk. That would have definitely hampered any attempts the mistress of evil may have made on his well-being. Going through the motions, he dropped his bag next to his desk, pulled out his sidearm, ejected the clip, and put both in his top desk drawer.

_Home free_, Tony thought as he took a seat. His body had just barely contacted the cushion when the chair beneath him fell apart into a dozen pieces, sending him crashing to the floor. On his very un-graceful fall, he grabbed for something, anything, but only succeeded in finding the stack of files on the corner of his desk, sending those to the floor, as well.

Ziva snorted through her nose before breaking out into an all out laugh. McGee's wide smile finally broke into a hearty, albeit short, laugh. Gibbs gazed at his agent over his reading glasses, his expression as emotionless as always, though his eyes danced with amusement.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs said in mocked annoyance.

Tony had gotten to his knees, and was staring daggers at his two teammates. "Boss, it's hardly my fault! That foreign. . ." he pointed to Ziva.

Gibbs' glare stopped him mid-sentence. "Sorry, Boss. I'll fix it." He turned his head to give one more death glare to the current bane of his existence. Without batting an eyelash, the Isreali picked up a hand written sign from her desktop. In big, black letters, Tony read, "APRIL FOOLS."

"Alright," Tony announced a moment later, after recovering the majority of his dignity. "Where are the screws that go to my chair?"

Ziva rose, a small smile still on her face, and unceremoniously dropped the requested items on Tony's desk.

"Probie," Tony tried his authoritative voice, "Put my chair back together."

McGee was completely unimpressed. "I fix computers, Tony, not chairs."

Gibbs decided a little intervention was needed. "Help him, McGee," he said as he stood to leave. "He'll be without a chair for three days if you don't."

McGee grudgingly obliged. He was feeling very satisfied with himself. To bring down the mighty Tony DiNozzo, and have someone else take the heat, was almost more enjoyable than the junior agent could stand. He rather liked being the snake in the grass, he decided. _Now on to phase 2_.

"So what prank are you guys gonna play on Abby for April Fools?" He asked innocently. He could visibly see both his teammates' eyes sparkle with possibilities.


	3. Chapter 3

Special Agent Gibbs entered a dimly lit lab. Slow, melodic music played softly in the background.

"Abby?" Gibbs called out softly, concern starting to take hold.

When there was no answer, the former marine stepped further into the room, his eyes scanning for his seemingly missing forensic scientist. He found the goth woman in front of her computer, her arms crossed on the desk, her head comfortably resting on top of them. Gibbs knew by the methodic sounds of her breathing that she was asleep. Something was definitely wrong.

Putting a hand on her back, Gibbs quietly called out, "Abby."

Abby woke with a start, sitting bolt upright, her mouth engaging at high speed. "I'm not sleeping," she explained quickly. "I've been doing inventory. I'm almost done. Almost. I'll get back to it. . ."

"Abby, you okay?" Gibbs cut her off.

Abby dropped her chin to her chest before eyeing her boss through her lashes. "Not really. I don't know what's wrong with me, Gibbs! I feel like a train wreck!"

The team leader put a calloused hand to the young woman's forehead. "You don't have a fever."

"I know, I already checked. I felt fine this morning, and now . . . My head is pounding, I have no energy, I can't think straight."

"You need a Caf-Pow?"

"I have one," she motioned to the mostly empty plastic cup next to her keyboard. "It's my eighth one today!"

"Eight? But I haven't brought you any today, Abs."

The young woman looked at him, her eyes droopy with exhaustion. "Tony's been bringing them to me."

"Mmm," Gibbs grunted, his suspicions about his lab tech's "illness" growing by the second. "Maybe you should go home," Gibbs suggested with a shrug of his shoulders. "It's not like we have a case to work on."

"No!" Abby protested. "I've never been sent home, Gibbs! Never! Not even that time I got food poisoning at the school cafeteria!" She paused, thinking. "Maybe I just need to move around a little." She planted the soles of both her platform boots on the floor and stood. Her eyes opened wide with surprise when the rolling chair stuck tight to her bottom, pulling uncomfortably at the baggy black pants she was wearing.

"What the . . .!" She cried out in surprise, sitting back down.

Just a hint of anger rose in the team leader before melting into amusement. Gibbs smothered a smile, taking out his phone to dial a very familiar number.

"Hey, Boss," Tony answered on the second ring.

"Get the team and get down to the lab," Gibbs instructed, monotone.

"On our way, Boss."

"And bring the nail polish remover from my desk drawer, DiNozzo."

Tony could hardly get out a "Sure thing," around the teeth-showing grin that had broken out on his face.

The three agents bound into the forensics lab like little children. "April Fools!" They yelled in unison as they piled through the thick steel door.

An odd mixture of amusement and frustration flitted through the Goth's eyes. "Ha ha. Can you get me un-stuck now? Please?"

"Is someone cranky?" Ziva asked.

"I'm not cranky! I'm just . . ."

"Here you are, my princess of darkness," Tony interrupted, producing a Caf-Pow from behind his back. "This should have you feeling better in no time."

"It won't help."

"Oh, trust us, this one will." When Abby eyed the senior field agent suspiciously, he continued. "Those others, well, let's say they were lacking the "Caf" in Caf-Pow."

The scientist's normally green eyes turned dark. "You've been bringing me caffeine free Caf-Pows?"

All three agents broke out in grins. Tony bounced up on his toes a few times. "Yup. All day long," DiNozzo explained.

Abby pointed up at the small huddled group from her forced seated position. "You guys should be ashamed of yourselves! I thought I was sick!"

Her not quite angry tone, coupled with this new revelation, brought Team Gibbs to fits of laughter.

"It's not funny!" Abby tried to sound stern despite the smile that was threatening at the corners of her mouth.

When it was obvious that no real harm had been done, Gibbs decided it was time to step in. "Get her out of that chair, DiNozzo, before those eight Caf-Pows catch up with her."

"Oh, right. On it, Boss." Tony answered.

With the situation well in hand, Gibbs spun on a heel and left the lab. McGee waited till he heard the sound of the elevator doors closing before he spoke.

"You know what would be the perfect end to an April Fool's Day?"

"What, McGee?" Abby took the bait.

"Pulling one over on Gibbs."

"Oh, no," Abby emphatically protested. "No, no, no. No one plays pranks on the bossman. Trust me."

Ziva looked at Tony, the wheels in her brain clearly spinning. Tony looked at Ziva, an eyebrow raised in anticipation. Then they both looked at McGee, who couldn't keep a smile off his face.

"What did you have in mind, McSneaky?" Tony asked.

_Sorry for the long wait between chapters. I am hoping to post the final chapter (or possibly two) tomorrow. Hope you are enjoying it! Thank you for all the reviews, etc. They really help keep me motivated. _


	4. Chapter 4

The four Gibblets huddled together in Abby's lab, quietly scheming. Contention had risen over what prank would be appropriate to pull on their esteemed boss. Gibbs' undeniable favorite, Abby, had protested every idea Tony, Ziva, and McGee came up with. It got to a point where her protests were simply ignored.

"We're headed into uncharted territory, people," Tony said melodramatically, "It can't be anything out of the ordinary. We're going for gusto here."

"I disagree," Ziva spoke up. "Gibbs would more likely appreciate a good, old fashioned, sort of prank."

"I have to agree with Ziva on this one, Tony," McGee sided with the Mossad officer.

"You guys, this is a bad idea," Abby was all but pleading.

Tony scrunched his face, clearly getting annoyed at his teammates for their lack of vision. "You guys are impossible," Tony announced, spinning around without warning and making his way out of the lab.

"Where are you going?" Ziva asked, confused.

"We're never going to agree on this. This isn't fun anymore. You guys do what you want. I'm going back to work."

The three remaining team members exchanged confused looks, then shrugged. They were well acquainted with the senior field agent's propensity to throw tantrums when he couldn't have his way.

"I'm out, too," Abby said, putting her hands up in surrender. "Mad Gibbs is never pretty."

"Alright," Ziva looked McGee in the eyes. "That leaves you and me."

"And . . .Ducky and Palmer," McGee answered slowly as once again a mischievous smile spread across his face.

Ziva's grin matched her teammates, as her eyes danced with anticipation. "I think I like this new side to you, McGee. It's very . . . Devious."

Gibbs strode briskly into the bullpen, frowning when only one member of his team was at their desk.

"Where's Ziva and McGee?" He asked his senior field agent, the usual gruffness in place.

His train of thought was completely derailed when he saw Tony packing his things into a box. "DiNozzo, what're you doing?"

Tony looked worried, even scared. He drug a hand through his dark hair and exhaled a deep sigh. "Director Shepard didn't tell you? I've been reassigned.," he sounded depressed. "LA Office, effective immediately."

DiNozzo hadn't even finished his explanation before he saw the thunderclouds erupt in his boss' eyes. "The hell you have," Gibbs spat, then turned quickly toward the stairs.

The gray haired team leader burst into the director's office with enough force to knock the door against the wall. Jenny was seated at her desk, a look of deep concentration on her face.

"What the hell are you doin', Jen?"

Shepard's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"Did DiNozzo screw something up somewhere that I didn't hear about?" Gibbs was almost shouting now. "He's _my _senior field agent, Jen! You have no right to transfer him without talking to me first!"

Jenny's jaw drop dropped in astonishment, her tone immediately defensive to match his. "What are you talking about, Jethro? Do you _honestly _think that I would take him away from you without so much as a "kiss my ass?"

Gibbs' eyes squinted, realization dawning on him rapidly. His tone dropped several hundred decibels when he said, "So you didn't transfer DiNozzo?"

Jenny stared him straight in his cold, blue eyes. "Of course not."

The ex-marine felt rage start to burn. Without even a good-bye, Gibbs stormed from the director's office. Pulling open the heavy door, he was surprised when Tony all but fell on top of him from a stooped over position. It became obvious to the team leader that his senior field agent had been listening to every word exchanged between himself and Director Shepard.

"DiNozzo, what the hell . . ."

"April Fool's, Boss!"

Tony's enthusiasm quickly disappeared when he saw the fury raging in his boss' eyes. Unconsciously, as he always did, he started fiddling with is hands, and stumbling over every word. "See, Boss, it was, um, uh . . ."

"My office." Gibbs growled. "NOW!"

_Now I know why Abby said this was a bad idea_, Tony thought as he dutifully marched toward the elevator.

As expected, Gibbs hit the emergency stop button as soon as the elevator car had started its ascent. He then swiftly spun, delivering a harder then usual smack to the back of the young agent's head.

"Ow, geez Boss," Tony begun as he smoothed his hair, "Okay, so maybe it was a bad idea. But you have to admit, I pulled it off perfectly! I mean serious, I should get an Oscar for that little bit of acting . . . Ow," he added as another blow landed to his skull.

Gibbs stepped to within inches of his agent's face. "Still think it's funny, DiNozzo?"

Tony squirmed despite his best efforts. "No, boss. Sorry, boss."

"Do it again, and you won't have to _pretend_ that you're being transferred. Clear?"

"Crystal, Boss."

"Good," Gibbs said as he once again put the elevator in motion. "Now get back to work."

"Where are _you_ going?"

"Autopsy."

"Ah, Jethro," the Scottish ME greeted his old friend.

"Hey, Duck."

"I'm glad you're here."

Gibbs strolled over to the steel table where Dr. Mallard and his assistant, Jimmy Palmer, were performing their latest autopsy. "Oh?" Gibbs answered as he peered into the chest cavity of a very unfortunate young service man.

"Yes. It seems Mr. Palmer and I have something of a mystery on our hands."

"I'm sure that's a first," Gibbs said sarcastically, flashing his old friend a crooked smile.

"If you have a moment I would like you to take a look."

Gibbs shrugged. "Sure. Not a whole lot happening today."

Ducky motioned with a finger for the team leader to follow him to the coolers. The diminutive doctor yanked the latch of cooler number six and slid the slab out. A human form still in a black body bag lay on the tray. Always one to take the initiative, Gibbs wasted no time in running the zipper around the head of the body and peeling back the thick plastic.

"April Fools!" McGee sat bolt upright from inside the body bad.

Gibbs jumped, his eyes as wide as saucers, then, unfortunately, his many years of Marine Corps Training took over. Without thinking, he lashed out, grabbing the young man around the neck with a powerful hand. In one quick motion, the hurled the unsuspecting agent to the floor. It wasn't till McGee had unceremoniously crumpled in a heap on the floor that Gibbs became aware of his actions.

"Damn it, McGee!" Gibbs raged. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the only female on his team come out of her hiding spot behind a bank of shelves.

"I suppose you were in on this, too?" He asked, his eyes set in a hard glared directed at Ziva.

"We . . . All were." Ziva confessed, making a motion to encompass all of autopsy.

His wrath finally settled on Dr. Mallard and Jimmy, though he said nothing.

"Just a good natured joke, Jethro," Ducky tried to soothe his irate friend.

"Your "good natured joke" almost got McGee killed!"

"Yes, well, I guess it could have been worse," Ducky said.

"Oh, yeah?" McGee grunted as he slowly got back to his feet. "How's that?"

"You could have been in one of the _upper_ coolers."

Ziva snorted, which turned into a full laugh. Dr. Mallard and Jimmy readily joined in. McGee cracked a smile, but didn't entirely see the humor of it. Gibbs just scowled, waiting. As soon as the laughter had died, he turned to his to agents.

"Don't you two have something you need to be working on?" He shook his head as Ziva and McGee hurried out of the room.

"Jethro, I . . ." Ducky began, but was cut off.

"I know, Duck." Gibbs shot over his shoulder as he followed his agents to the elevator.

The bullpen was unusually quiet as all three agents worked at their desks. Having all been thoroughly lectured about how their boss was a federal agent, not a kindergarten teacher, they were in no mood for discussions. As soon as the tongue-lashing was over, Gibbs had left, giving explicit instructions that no one was to go anywhere till he returned.

Almost three hours later, their fearless leader appeared once again, a fresh cup of coffee in hand. He stood leaning against a cubicle wall when he announced, "Wrap it up and go home."

All three agents quickly grabbed their backpacks and all but ran for the elevator, Gibbs followed closely behind.

"Be back here at 0700 tomorrow," the team leader instructed as his team entered the elevator.

"Got it, Boss," Tony called out just as the doors closed.

The elevator started to descend, then came to an abrupt stop. The lights immediately switched off, leaving them in the dimness of the emergency lighting only.

"What the . . .?" Tony exclaimed, his eyes scanning the elevator buttons to find what was wrong.

"Oh, hey!" Tony, Ziva, and McGee heard their boss call through the elevator door. "April Fools! Enjoy the rest of your evening."

Ziva turned toward Tony. "He wouldn't leave us here all night, would he?"

McGee was bouncing his head off the metallic wall. "After what we just put him through? We might as well settle in for a long night."

Gibbs entered Abby's lab with a triumphant smile on his face, and a fresh Caf-Pow in his hand. Setting the drink in front of the young scientist, he kissed her on the cheek.

She smiled. "What was that for?"

"For being a good girl. And for the favor you're gonna do for me."

"What favor?"

"Let my team out of the elevator in a few hours," he said, planting a "fireman's key" in the Goth's hand.

Abby couldn't help the amused chuckle that sprang from her lips. "Of course, my Silver Haired Fox. How long do you want me to leave 'em in there?"

Gibbs thought a moment. "After McGee goes crazy, but before Ziva kills Tony."

Abby laughed. "You got it, Bossman."

"Thanks, Abs. See you tomorrow."

_Tah- dah! It took awhile, but it's done. Hope I didn't let anyone down with the ending. Feel free to review- I'm sort of a review addict. Thank you for all the reviews so far. _


End file.
